10 Ways to Brown Nose Using FaceBook

The existence of FaceBook as a widely available platform for interaction has given us the opportunity to find new ways to do old things. This includes the art of brown nosing, in both social and professional networks. Here are 10 ways to brown nose using FaceBook.

  1. Profile Alignment. Change all of your profile settings that indicate interests to those that match up with the interests of the person to whom you are trying to suck-up. Make sure that you bring this to your subject’s attention.
  2. The Like Button. Do your best to always be one of the first to click on the Like button when that person posts personal or professional news. Do be careful though, to actually read the post before clicking the button. Failure to do so has potential for negative consequences and much snickering among colleagues and rivals.
  3. Insincere Laughter. The great thing about LOL is that it is less obvious than a poorly executed laugh in a face-to-face setting. If he or she is trying to be funny, you can LOL with no one able to be certain as to your sincerity.
  4. Professional Affiliation. If the person you wish to brown nose is your boss or an executive in your company, be sure that you have affiliated yourself with the company in all forms and shapes that are possible on FaceBook. If the company has a website, link to it, if the company has a FaceBook page, Like it.
  5. Your Profile Picture; Professional Version. Replacing your profile picture with the company logo can be effective, especially if you post often on company FaceBook pages. If the company does not have a FaceBook page, but your boss does have one, her or his wall is prime space for profile picture/logo planting activities.
  6. Your Profile Picture; Personal Version. If the person for whom you are trying to brown your nose is a dog lover, change your profile picture to a dog. Go a step further and use a picture of that person’s dog, if you don’t think she or he will be creeped-out by it. The same goes for cats and horses. If your intended target loves classic cars, changing your profile picture to that of an all original 1963 T-Bird can serve the same purpose.
  7. Their Photo Album. If your subject has a photo album on FaceBook, this is another prime brown nosing opportunity. Go through their photos and take plenty of time composing really flattering remarks wherever they may be appropriate.
  8. Play Tag. Whenever possible, post photos of places and people that you wish to brown nose admires, and always remember to tag them in the photo so that they notice. Also, do this with any photos of yourself doing impressive things or receiving awards.
  9. Page and Group Affiliation. If the object of your brown nosing has joined groups or Liked the pages of musicians, charitable organizations, or causes of any kind, do the same as he or she. As with other activities, it is important to make sure that the right person has opportunity to notice what you’ve done.
  10. Shared Prejudice and Paranoia. This one may be more difficult and a bit distasteful, depending on your view of yourself. If you learn that the person in your nose-sights has particularly extreme political views, racial or cultural prejudices, or is gripped by religious paranoia, FaceBook is a great place to share links and comments that will get their attention (by rodriguez). Of course, this will likely lead all of your other friends and coworkers to shun you and talk behind your back, so maybe it’s not such a good idea.

I’m reasonably certain that there are more ways to brown nose using FaceBook, and fully expect all of these to eventually fall by the wayside as the work of an amateur. Perhaps this article will even be a catalyst for someone to find better, more efficient ways to brown nose with FaceBook, though I really hope not.

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